


Frontwards

by LakeHermione



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Multi, Non-clone AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-06-04 20:44:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15155258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LakeHermione/pseuds/LakeHermione
Summary: The story begins when 15 year old Beth Childs moves from the suburbs to the city and forges an unlikely friendship with the delinquents next door and then follows the trio into early adulthood and beyond picking up in roughly ten year increments.





	1. Chapter 1

Elizabeth Childs was 15 years old when she and her parents moved from their ranch-style home in the suburbs into a small stone duplex in the city. Her father, Rich, was a police detective in the major crimes unit of the Toronto PD.  Her mother, Ruth, taught art history classes at a community college, but when Beth was born, quit her job to stay at home.  Beth was an only child.  She was the sort teachers and coaches appreciated—steady, hard-working, decent grades and a bit on the quiet side.  She liked to read, was an articles editor on the school newspaper, ran cross-country and was a reserve on the soccer team. She wasn’t exactly shy but she wasn’t particularly ambitious and she didn’t at all like being the center of attention.  Which is why some people thought it was odd that her best friend since Kindergarten had been Alison Hendrix.  Ali rarely left the center of attention—at least not voluntarily.  This year alone Ali was class president, the lead in the school play, captain of the tennis team and a champion debater.  Ali had a circle of friends a mile wide (and an inch deep), but Beth knew her best.  Most importantly, they kept each other’s secrets. Ali knew that Beth’s mother was frequently hospitalized for depression, that her father drank too much and that sometimes he was violent.  Beth knew that Ali’s wealthy and ostentatiously religious parents’ marriage was a sham and that they were both having affairs.

Beth and her parents moved into their new home in the city-center on a bitterly cold day in January, just before the start of the spring semester of her 10th grade year. Beth was unpacking a box of books when she heard a door slam on the other side of the duplex so hard that it rattled the windows and floor in her room.  She looked down through her window into the front yard and saw a teenage girl about her age emerge from the house next door.  The girl shouted angry clouds of something unintelligible into the cold and then added a double obscene finger gesture towards her house for good measure.  She had wild unkempt curly brown hair and was completely underdressed for the frigid weather--wearing only jeans, a t-shirt and a black leather jacket.  The girl then looked up, noticed Beth was watching her and had shouted something equally unintelligible in her direction and then took off down the street.  A few minutes later a slightly younger looking boy, also dressed in black, emerged from the house next door and sprinted after the girl.  Beth didn’t know it yet, but on the other side of the duplex lived Siobhan Sadler and her two foster children, Sarah Manning and Felix Dawkins.   Beth would never have guessed at the time that the three of them would go on to become lifelong friends. 

***

Beth actually met the kids next door the following Monday when she emerged from her house dreading her first day at her new school.  She was wearing a down jacket, a wool sweater, her favorite jeans and had her straight brown hair pulled back into a low pony tail tied neatly with a blue ribbon.  Sarah, who appeared to be wearing the same clothes as the last time Beth saw her, had the nerve to roll her eyes and snicker, but Felix, revealing a British accent, quickly told his sister to “shut it” and introduced himself and Sarah to their new neighbor.  They then awkwardly fell in together to walk to school.  Felix, who was in the 9th grade, was quite friendly, did most of the talking and asked her a lot of questions about her family and her old school.   Sarah, like Beth was in the 10th grade and mostly listened with her head down and hands stuffed in her pockets, but piped up now and again to add snarky comments about their school and all the awful people inhabiting it.  Beth thought Felix and Sarah were a little scary looking, although she liked their banter so that was at least something.  She smiled to herself thinking what Ali’s reaction to them would be. For her part, Sarah was positively horrified that a cop would be living next door and she figured she’d have nothing to do with Beth with the perfect blue ribbon in her perfect hair--she’d probably narc to her cop father if anyone anywhere did anything remotely interesting.   

The truth is the three of them probably wouldn’t have become friends if it weren’t for two things that happened later that spring.  

First, there was the night a few months after Beth moved in--when she had climbed out of her bedroom window onto the fire escape in the middle of the night with a swollen eye after her dad had come home from the bar and slapped her for being “disrespectful”--only to find Sarah crawling into her bedroom window next door. 

What had happened was that Beth’s mom was going through one of her bad patches.  Ruth’s depressive episodes took many forms—usually some debilitating combination of her not being able to sleep, eat or get out of her own head. When Ruth wasn’t depressed, she and Beth had fun. They went to movies, plays and art museums.  They tried new restaurants and talked about books and television shows.  She also painted landscapes, baked elaborate cakes and kept an immaculate house.  When she was depressed, sometimes days or weeks would go by where they barely talked at all.  When things got really bad, she stopped functioning altogether—there wouldn’t be groceries in the house and things would fall into a general state of disrepair—that is unless Beth took care of things.  On top of everything going on with her mom, it had been a rough week.  She had joined the soccer team at her new school and was doing grueling early morning strength training and cardio sessions.  She also had a huge Trig exam and had to turn in a term paper that counted for almost half of her grade in English.   When Beth got home, she definitely saw the overflowing garbage bin, the pile of dirty dishes in the kitchen and the half-folded basket of laundry in the living room, but she was too exhausted and stressed to contemplate tackling any of that, so she  grabbed a granola bar for dinner and had gone up to her room to study.  A few hours later, her dad came home after a retirement party, saw the state of the house, bounded up the stairs, kicked her door open and laid into her for not doing pulling her weight.  In hindsight, she really should have known better, but without thinking she sputtered that it wasn’t her fault Ruth needed to go back into treatment. He backhanded her and ordered her to go downstairs to “Clean it all up! Now!” 

As she was finishing up, Rich came back into the kitchen, told her he loved her and tearfully apologized (like he always did).  After murmuring “I love you too, Dad” and extricating herself from his guilty hug, Beth went back upstairs, opened her window and went out onto the fire escape. She had just wanted some air and to pretend she was somewhere else.  She was so startled to find Sarah out there that she tripped on the window sill and nearly fell.  Sarah, who was much more practiced at this sort of thing, was startled as well but managed to keep it together. 

“Christ! What are you doing out here?” Beth exclaimed.

“Keep it down alright?” hissed Sarah as she expertly crossed between the adjacent fire escapes over to Beth’s side.  

As Sarah got a closer look, she saw the unmistakable bruise. “What the hell happened to your face?” When Beth didn’t answer, Sarah softened, “Did your mom or dad do that?”

“What? No! I um…uh…it happened at soccer” stammered Beth.

“Okay…” replied Sarah unconvinced.  

After an awkward silence, “I’m fine” sputtered Beth.

“No, you’re not.  Come on, let’s take the sting out of that” said Sarah with a grin and brandishing two cans of beer from her jacket pockets.  “I’ve got two left.  I was gonna save them for tomorrow night, but I think now seems like a better idea.”  

Beth hesitated.  She had only tried alcohol once before—with Ali and they’d just tried a taste of vodka from her parents’ liquor cabinet and both deemed it “gross.”  

“Coming?” said Sarah with an eyebrow raised.  

Against her better judgment, Beth followed Sarah onto the other side of the fire escape and into Sarah’s bedroom window.  Sarah’s room looked just like you’d imagine—unmade bed, clothes strewn about, a few posters for bands Beth had never heard of and absolutely no books--textbook or otherwise.  Sarah settled onto her floor, leaned back against her bed, cracked open the beers and handed one to Beth.  Beth took in her surroundings and took a tentative sip—huh…kinda bitter, but not altogether bad. 

“Well cheers” Sarah gestured and after taking a much larger drink of hers said, “Wanna talk about it?”

 “Not really” sighed Beth pressing the cold can up to her bruised face, but then they exchanged grins.  Of course, she didn’t want to talk about it with Sarah.  She barely knew her.  They didn’t have any classes together since Beth was college prep and Sarah was (barely) in the general ed track.  In the short time Beth had known her, she had quickly discerned that Sarah was constantly in detention or suspended and she hung around with some of the biggest burnouts in school.  

After a long pause Sarah offered, “Fair enough, but just so you know, I know what that’s like…not here though” she added thoughtfully and gesturing toward the floor below, “but at some of the other places I’ve been.  It’s not good and it’s not your fault.”

Beth nodded and sipped her beer.  After another long pause Beth blurted out, “He didn’t mean to.  I shouldn’t have argued. He just carries so much stress from work that sometimes things just set him off.  You know?  Don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t” said Sarah.  And Sarah didn’t.    

The second thing happened the following month and is a whole tale unto itself.  It involved Beth going all Sherlock Holmes at school to prove Sarah’s innocence in connection with the theft of almost $400 from a PTA fundraiser.  Sarah had been in the principal’s office awaiting his latest lecture about her escalating truancy when it was discovered that the PTA money was missing and unfortunately for Sarah, she was (a) in the wrong place at the wrong time, and (b) carrying almost the same amount of cash from another (ahem) endeavor.  The principal made her empty her pockets and when he saw the money, he called the police.  Sarah ended up being charged with felony theft and carted off to a juvenile detention facility.  The next day Felix had explained to Beth as they walked to school that Sarah was (weirdly) adamant that she didn’t do it.   Beth figured she probably had done it, but the next day by happenstance, overheard Chad Norris, a big dumb meathead on the football team, laughing with his stupid friends about how some lowlife girl had gotten busted for taking the PTA money and showing them his new headphones.  Beth then questioned everyone who as in the office on the day of the theft, was able to place Chad there before Sarah even arrived and while the PTA collection box was unattended.  Beth then left an anonymous tip with the principal explaining what she overheard and had learned.  Thankfully, the principal was intrigued enough to call Chad in to talk to him, which freaked big dumb Chad out so much that he cracked under questioning and admitted to the theft.  

After that, even though they were very different sorts of people leading very different lives, Sarah, Felix and Beth’s friendship was set--not that they hung around much together at school.  Nonetheless, at least once a week they would cross between their fire escapes and knock on each other’s windows late at night to talk.  It shouldn’t have worked, but it did.  Now Felix got along with almost anyone so long as they were decent and real, but Sarah and Beth didn’t mix well with just anybody. All Felix could come up with was those two, so different in most ways, were something alike at their unvarnished cores once you got past Sarah’s bravado and Beth’s deceptively tranquil exterior.  

Sometimes Sarah would show up at Beth’s window in the middle of the night because she was locked out and needed a place to crash.  Once that happened when Alison was spending the night which was just fantastic.  Sarah was completely hammered and had been running from the cops in the park, but couldn’t go home as Siobhan was still up and Sarah was supposed to be grounded anyway.  Alison practically broke out in hives as they watched the police show up next door looking for Sarah, Sarah was delighted that Alison was shocked, and Beth was thoroughly entertained having the two of them in the same room.  Later, Felix crept over (wearing more make-up than all three girls combined) to let Sarah know the coast was clear and the four of them ended up staying up until dawn talking--Felix and Alison oddly and enthusiastically bonding over their many mutual interests: acting, musical theater, house-flipping shows, etc.; Sarah and Beth watching them with bemused “what the hell?” looks on their faces.  

***

As time went by, Beth settled into her new high school pretty well.  In the 11th grade she made honorable mention all-city for cross-country.   Also, she had been a reserve on the ultra-competitive soccer team at her old suburban school, but was pleasantly surprised to be named a starter on the varsity team at her new downtown school.   Anyway, it gave her something safe to talk about with her father. Also, after the bad spell last spring, her mom was actually doing pretty well.  During fall break that year Beth and her mom had even taken the train to New York City.  They stayed in a cool hotel overlooking Central Park, saw a few Broadway plays and toured the city’s big art museums.  The following summer, she and her mother took a trip to Vancouver and Victoria Island and even went whale watching.  As Senior year approached, all things considered, Beth found herself feeling pretty content. 

Felix eventually came out to his family and friends in what Sarah at the time dubbed the “least surprising bit of news ever.”  Obvious or not, afterwards Felix seemed much happier.  He won a district award for one of his paintings later that year.  The prize winning painting then got to be hung in one of the big galleries downtown and he couldn’t have been prouder.   Felix also began spending a lot of time during the summers and after school at a downtown youth arts program where he painted sets for the all the musicals and plays.   He was quite happy, found his people and also had his first real relationship --with Teddy, one of the actors who went to another school across town.

Sarah, on the other hand, careened further off the rails.  No one could stand her on again, off again boyfriend Vic.  Once Vic, who was a year holder than Sarah, dropped out of school, Sarah had begun hanging out with an even older and sketchier crowd.  She failed most of her classes Junior year and was supposed to be rectifying that situation in summer school.  However, in the span of the last month of the summer before their Senior year alone, Sarah was arrested three times: once for shoplifting, a week later for possession of stolen property (a street sign for “Dawkins Avenue” which was meant to be Felix’s birthday present) and a few days later for drunken and disorderly conduct and even worse--possession of a small amount of cocaine.   Tensions with Siobhan were at an all-time high.  After the third arrest (“Cocaine, Sarah? Really? Bloody hell!”), Siobhan had refused to pick her up from the juvenile detention facility for three days.    Sarah rewarded Siobhan for that by sneaking out her first night home and letting the air out of the tires on Siobhan’s truck.  Siobhan retaliated by locking all the windows in the house so Sarah spent the next few nights sleeping at Vic’s, getting high and skipping summer school.  Ultimately, Felix brokered a détente between the two when he broke down one night in tears during one of their screaming matches and begged them to just stop.  Felix had recently confessed to Beth that he was worried what would become of Sarah.  She had obviously gotten into “harder” drugs with Vic and his friends and he suspected she was helping him deal.  She would often disappear for days.  Now that she was almost 18, the next time she got arrested Felix knew she would be charged as an adult. 

Beth didn’t see much of Sarah that last summer before what was to be their Senior year.  But one night just before school started, Sarah turned up out of the blue at Beth’s window.  

“Oi Elizabeth, want some company?” said an already blitzed Sarah with a bottle of bourbon in hand.  

Beth gave her an appraising look and a wry smile and let her in (thankful that her father was on an all-night stake out).  She then went downstairs marveling to herself that Sarah had once again scaled the fire escape in that condition (what do they say? “god protects drunks and fools?”) and returned with a couple of glasses of ice and a bottle of Coke to use as a mixer.  Sarah had settled onto the floor and was leaning back against the wall by the foot of the bed. 

“I don need that,” slurred Sarah. 

“Well, I do, if I’m gonna drink bourbon,” said Beth with a slight smile.  

“Lightweight”   

“Yeah, not really...Sarah, where’ve you been? You look like shit.  Felix’s been worried, you know.”  

Sarah closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the side of the bed. “S’all been shit lately.  Vic, Siobhan, school, everything.  I don think I’m goin’ back.”

“To summer school?” asked Beth.

“To any of it” said Sarah. 

“Wait…you mean dropping out? What are you gonna do? Like, for money?” asked Beth.

“Don worry about it” said Sarah with a smirk. 

Beth took a sip of her drink and then asked something she’d always wanted to ask Sarah, “Where do you think you’ll be in ten years?” 

Sarah snorted, “Me? I dunno, dead or in jail I s’pose.”

“Sarah, don’t say things like that!”  

“Well ’s not gonna be two kids and a white picket fence, is it?” replied Sarah.  

“Probably not,” chuckled Beth, “Do you want all that?”  

“Na really. You?” said Sarah draining her glass.    

“Maybe, I don’t know, probably not but trust me, Sarah,” said Beth her eye catching the framed picture of her and Ali smiling in front of Ali’s parents’ house of lies, “white picket fences aren’t everything and it’s not like your only choices are the suburbs, death or jail.”  

But when Beth looked back at Sarah, she’d passed out.  Beth texted Felix and he came over to sit with Sarah until she sobered up enough to be helped back home. 

Later that night when a police car pulled up in front of their duplex. Beth assumed they were looking for Sarah which would explain her earlier mood, but it turned out they were coming to see Beth and her mother—her father had been shot three times in the line of duty and had died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.


	2. Chapter 2

   
12 Years Later

“You done with that paperwork on the jewelry store heist?” said Art Bell.  

“Well if you’d stop interrupting me…” grumbled Beth, but then she smiled and signed her name to the bottom of the form with a flourish.  “There. Done. Happy?” she smirked.  

“Good” said Art, “Now let’s get out of here--since you’re buying—I can’t stay long.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, a bet’s a bet” conceded Beth but she still couldn’t believe that Art had guessed the guy’s ridiculously specific alibi (“I was at home watching Game of Thrones with my girlfriend.”).  They had a standing bet before entering the interrogation room to try and guess what stupid thing the perp would say he or she was doing at the time of the crime.  This time Beth had guessed “mdowing the lawn,” but Art had said “watching TV…no, watching Game of Thrones with his girlfriend!” and sure enough that’s exactly what the jackass said he was doing at the time of the assault. 

Detective Arthur Bell was a 20 year veteran of the Toronto police department. In fact, he had just made detective around the time Beth’s father had been killed and he remembered the incident well.   Det. Richard Childs was shot in the neck, chest and arm during a stake-out of a drug deal that went bad.  His bullet-proof vest had stopped the one to his chest, but the shots to his neck and arm struck major arteries and he bled out in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.  Art knew Rich Childs by reputation only (a hard-nosed, “cop’s cop” as they say), but he, like every other detective in the city had gone to the funeral.  

Beth honestly didn’t remember the funeral much at all.   
After her father was killed, Beth’s mother decompensated rapidly. She became acutely depressed which landed her in the hospital twice Beth’s Senior year.  Most of the time Beth felt like she was sleep-walking through a nightmare.  She began going on progressively longer and longer runs in the evenings.  She found she couldn’t really sleep unless she was just exhausted.  After what could be best described as a panic attack, she began seeing a counselor who diagnosed her with depression and an anxiety disorder (“Perfect. Runs in the family”) and put her on some anti-anxiety medications, but Beth couldn’t really say whether they helped with anything or not.  In fact, she couldn’t bring herself to care about a damn thing so she quit all her extra-curriculars and did just the bare minimum to scrape by.  She mostly kept to herself or hung out with Felix or Ali.   Felix found a secluded spot down by the river where they could make a fire and drink without anybody bothering them. They did that a lot.  Sometimes Beth went down there by herself.  

Ali was dutiful about calling her and inviting her over for movie nights and sleepovers, but Ali’s bright focus and Beth’s malaise didn’t match.  After graduation it wasn’t long before Ali went off to a college a few hours away and they saw less and less of each other.

Sarah wasn’t around much that year having made good on her promise to drop out of school.  As a consequence, Siobhan had kicked her out of the house.  However, every once in a while she turned up at Beth’s window presumably to check on her.  Beth always liked it when she came by, as Sarah was one of the few people who didn’t fuss about her.  That and she’d usually talk Beth into doing something completely out of character---like getting hammered on a Tuesday or jumping on a train to Montreal for the weekend without telling anyone—which was, in a word--liberating.  Not even Felix knew where Sarah was most of the time.  Siobhan, without prying, seemed to understand that Beth’s mom was not exactly functioning, and she frequently insisted on having Beth over for tea or dinner.  Beth found Siobhan and her cups of tea rather comforting and often wondered why Sarah would throw all that away. 

After Beth graduated from high school, she ended up at community college in the fall (her only real option since her grades had understandably cratered senior year).  Beth majored in criminal justice and enrolled at the police academy upon graduation.  Her mother (and her therapist) didn’t like it at all, but for Beth that may have been part of the appeal.  Anyway, turns out she was a good at her job.  She and Art had been partners since Beth had made detective a little over two years ago.  Art, a no-nonsense, divorced father of two, was about ten years older than Beth, but they got along well. 

When they got to Sullivan’s, which was just a couple of blocks over from the police station, Art ordered the most expensive Belgian-import beer on the menu (“Seriously, Art?”), but Beth stuck to her usual—bourbon, neat (“Thanks, Sarah!”).   As the bartender set their drinks down, Art triumphantly rubbed his hands together while Beth slowly shook her head from side to side in disbelief.   After a while, Beth’s phone buzzed.  She looked down, smiled and then finished off her drink.  “What?” asked Art.  “Cosima’s on her way over.  She says they’ve got “crazy good news” for us—whatever that means.  Something to do with that John Doe floater. Want another round?” “Nah, better not” said Art “I’ve gotta go pick up my kids.”  Beth ordered another bourbon and then asked for a glass of cabernet for Cosima.

Cosima Neihaus was the head of the criminal pathology & forensics unit in the city coroner’s office.  She was in her early thirties--quite young to be running the department--but between her dreadlocks, eccentric fashion-sense and laid-back style, she would have stood out in any police department regardless of age. Over the years, Cosima and her wife Delphine, had become two of Beth’s closest friends.  Cosima and Delphine lived in an old farmhouse they had restored just outside the city.  Delphine, who had a PhD in horticulture, taught classes at the City University. They had an 18 month old son named Milo.  They kept chickens and had a massive garden, mostly for personal consumption, but it also served as a practical teaching lab for Delphine’s students. Beth was a frequent guest at their home.   Like most people who got to know Beth at all, they seemed to think she needed a bit of looking after.

“So, guess what? I finally identified your floater!” beamed Cosima as she sat down at the bar next to Beth and Art, her eyes flashing with excitement.  

Twelve days ago, some local fisherman had found a badly decomposed body of an unidentified male floating in Lake Ontario.  The victim had been shot in the head at close range which turned the John Doe into a murder victim--Beth and Art had caught the case. “And?” asked Art.  

“His name is Henry Miller.  We were able to identify him through a serial number on his titanium hip and I just confirmed it through dental records.  But here’s where it gets weird.  This guy Miller—he’s a retired banker with a wife, kids, and all that.  Wouldn’t you think someone would have noticed he was missing?” said Cosima as she answered her buzzing phone (“No babe, I’m having a drink with Art and Beth.  Be home soon. Yep, I’ll tell her.”)  

After hanging up, Cosima continued excitedly, “Delphine says “Hey” and to remind you that you’re coming to the dinner party Saturday night—and you CANNOT cancel! I do NOT want to be stuck talking to one of her weirdo grad students all night about soil moisture content levels and shit, like literally.”

***

Beth spent the next day pulling all of Henry Miller’s credit card statements and cell phone records.  Art went to go interview the widow. She had just returned from the copy machine with the last credit card statement when she picked up her phone and saw she had four missed calls and text from Sarah. 

S_Manning: oh my fucking god pls call me back

what’s wrong?

S_Manning: im abt to lose my mind is what come over

can’t working

S_Manning: come after

why?

S_Manning: um because Cal’s in California, S’s visiting her mum in Ireland, Felix is blowing me off and i haven’t spoken to an adult human in three days!

okay calm down I’ll come by around 7

S_Manning: bring pizza

srsly?

S_Manning: pls

fine what kind

S_Manning: idk half cheese half grownup

okay

S_Manning: and beer

absolutely not

S_Manning: my doctor said an occasional beer is fine

really?

S_Manning: well no but she didn’t say I couldn’t and everything in moderation and all that and besides if its good enough for Gwyneth bloody Paltrow its good enough for me

still no

S_Manning: fine just come

The years after Sarah dropped out of high school were a really dark time in her life.  She cut herself off from everyone--only occasionally calling or turning up.  Siobhan had no choice but to practice tough love.  She refused to bail her out anymore or to let her stay when she was drunk or high which meant they were basically estranged.  Felix, a born care-taker and enabler, always had a hard time refusing Sarah, but even he grew increasing tired of her antics.  After college Beth lost touch with her almost entirely for several years. And then one day about four years ago after no one had seen or heard from her for almost a year, she turned up at Felix’s loft and told him she was pregnant.  When Felix asked her what she was going to do, she’d cried which unnerved him since Sarah almost never cried.  She told him this time was different and asked for his help.  
   
Cal Morrison was an easy-going software designer from Vancouver who had made a killing when his start-up web design company was bought up by Microsoft. Cal was laid-back, handsome, lanky and tall with kind blue eyes and curly light brown hair that he kept somewhat shaggy and long. He had invested his buyout money well and had gone to live off the grid in a cabin in the woods in rural Ontario. He got a part-time job at a local small appliance repair shop so he could keep busy and tinker and spent the rest of his time fly-fishing and playing hockey in the local beer league. 

He met Sarah one night after a game at the local bar. She was just passing through on her way back from the west coast. Their drunken one night stand turned into two and then three days and then more. Cal was a nice guy who made her laugh (and they were also having the best sex either of them had had in a while.) It’s not like she had anywhere else to be anyway. Also, when she brought up moving on, he’d ask her to stay a just a few more days so she did.  
   
Cal, against his better judgment and for reasons he couldn’t really articulate, was smitten with Sarah even though he knew she was probably--no definitely--trouble. He thought she was funny and she made him feel alive. Sarah for her part, quickly grew unsettled by how easy it was to stay with him. She found herself imagining a life with him, then she’d talk herself out of it. He was way too together and nice for her and when he figured out who she was and how she lived, he wouldn’t want anything to do with her—best to leave now.  
   
Cal, however, already knew more about her than she realized.  After those first few days, he had done some checking online and had discovered she had been arrested all over North America for petty theft and minor drug crimes.  After a month or so, she told him she had to get back to Toronto—which was a lie.  He knew it was a lie but said he understood and after one last rather passionate night, she had gone.  What Cal didn’t know for a couple of weeks was that she had taken the mad money he kept locked in his desk (some $3,500).  She had, however, left a note apologizing and promising to pay him back some day. She could have taken him for a lot more.  
   
After Sarah got back to Toronto, she crashed on a friend’s couch for a few weeks. The place was a nonstop party—a revolving door of people drinking, getting high, sleeping it off and then wash, rinse and repeat.  Sarah was right back in her element, but she felt a bit empty which was really nothing new. 

One day after a few weeks, Sarah had woken up feeling nauseas with a splitting headache that she completely deserved. She stepped over the sleeping bodies on the floor and into the bathroom to look for some aspirin.  When she noticed a box of tampons on the back of the toilet, her eyes went wide as she began to do some mental calculations. Nope, she last had her period a week or so before she met Cal and now (shite) not for the last seven, no, eight weeks.  Then, in a fog Sarah packed up her things and went to Felix’s to think.  
   
When she told Felix she wanted to have the baby, he’d tried to talk her out of it. When he knew she was serious, he convinced her to patch things up with Siobhan.  After a few weeks, Sarah broke down one night and told them about Cal--that he was the father and a good guy but that she had stolen from him.  Siobhan went silent for a while and then said, “Well, if he’s a good man, then he would want to know and even if he doesn’t want anything to do with you, he’ll probably want to be a good father, won’t he? Don’t you want that for your baby?”  
   
So Siobhan and Felix drove to the country with Sarah to tell Cal.  They stayed back at the motel while she tracked him down and told him about the baby.  He was naturally furious with Sarah and deeply skeptical that he was the father. “I understand why you wouldn’t want to take my word.  After it’s born, we can do a test, but I’m telling you it’s yours.  It’s my decision and it’ll be my responsibility, but I thought you’d want to know and you can be involved if you like or not I guess.”  She then handed him an envelope of cash to repay him for the money she had stolen and gave him Siobhan’s address in case he wanted to contact her.  As she turned to leave, he’d asked when her next doctor’s appointment was.  She told him it was two weeks from today.  The morning before the appointment, he turned up on Siobhan’s doorstep and went with her.  They found out Sarah was having a girl.  
   
That night he asked her to come to his hotel room to talk about how all this would work.  When she arrived, however, he opened the door, pulled her into his arms, kissed her and whispered “I must be crazy but I want it all. You, the baby. Everything. Can you do that?”  Not sure if she could and never one to have the right words, rather than answering him, Sarah returned and deepened the kiss.  They stayed holed up in his hotel room for the next three days, talking and making love.  Maybe it was Cal or maybe it was the hormones, but for once in her life, Sarah was honest—about her feelings for him, about her sexuality, about her fears that she couldn’t be monogamous, that she had harmed the baby with drugs and alcohol and whether she could ever be a good mother when she’d never been good at anything in her life.  About a month later, Cal returned to Toronto and rented an apartment.  By the time their daughter Kira was born, Cal had bought a little 1950s bungalow not too far from Siobhan’s and brought Sarah and Kira back home with him when they were discharged from the hospital.  
   
Sarah found out at her six month post-partum check-up that she was pregnant again.  She’d called Siobhan immediately after the appointment: “But mum, it’s like you said, breast-feeding is supposed to be a natural form of birth control, yeah?  I haven’t even had my period yet!” An exasperated Siobhan had replied, “Sarah, I said no such thing!  It only makes it less likely you’d ovulate, not that you couldn’t which obviously you did!”  After their son Joe was born 7 months later, Siobhan made sure Sarah went home with a prescription for a year’s worth of birth control pills.  After they ran out, Sarah kept meaning to refill it and then kind of forgot about it.  Anyway, now she was pregnant for the third time in about three years which was a source of endless amusement to Felix. 


	3. Chapter 3

When Beth arrived at Sarah’s with the pizza, all Sarah said when she opened the door was “Oh thank god.” She was wearing drawstring pajama pants, a black tank top that had ridden up to expose the lower half of her growing belly and a flannel bathrobe that had to be Cal’s. She was covered in all manner of stains and toddler smears and her hair, unruly under the best of circumstances, had taken on a life of its own. She also had what appeared to be a half-eaten sucker stuck to her shirt. Beth wanted to laugh but before she could say anything, they heard a giant crash followed by a blood curdling scream. “Christ” muttered Sarah as she rushed back into the house to see what had happened.

The house looked like a bomb had gone off with clothes, toys and dishes scattered everywhere. Beth set the pizza box in the kitchen and then joined Sarah in the living room where she was cuddling a sobbing Joe who had fallen off of the back of the couch. Joe, who was two years old and wearing only a pull-up diaper, cowboy boots and a cape, was inconsolable. Kira, age three, was oblivious to the plight of her brother and was loudly demanding from across the room that Sarah look at the picture she had just painted while the paint brush in her other hand slowly dripped green paint onto the wood floor. (“Look, mummy. Look! LOOOOOOK!”) Then, upon noticing Beth, Kira smiled, dropped the paintbrush and shouted “Auntie Beth!” as Joe’s sobs turned into a breathless whimpering staccato. “Who wants pizza?” asked Beth. “Thank you” mouthed Sarah gratefully as Kira took Beth’s hand and followed her into the kitchen.

Beth found a clean plate and served Kira a piece of cheese pizza with a glass of milk. Kira favored Cal in both looks and temperament and was generally a calm, sweet and even-keeled child. Joe, on the other hand, was pure Sarah. He had her unruly black curls and it looked like someone had cut and pasted both her eyes and eyebrows onto him. On top of that he was also wild, naughty, and feisty. He refused to stay in time-out for any length of time and while his first word was “daddy,” his second word had been “shite”--which he pronounced “site” and muttered anytime he was especially angry or frustrated—which was a lot. He threw a complete fit when he had to put on shoes (unless it was his idea) and had also recently begun biting Kira whenever she made him mad. Upon hearing this Siobhan had gleefully dug out Sarah’s old social services file and shown Sarah the pages-long notation cataloguing all the times (37) she had bitten others as a toddler at the children’s home and which included incident descriptions like “apparently because he looked at her” and “for no discernable reason.” To be fair Joe wasn’t without his attributes. He was spirited and funny and was quite the cuddler once you gained his trust. 

Sometimes it was hard for Siobhan not to laugh when Joe was shamelessly naughty or lost his temper with one of Sarah’s expressions plastered on his face, but it was not lost on her or anybody else that even though he was a difficult child, they all loved him anyway and that there hadn’t been anyone there to love Sarah when she was hard to love and small. Sometimes Joe had these epic tantrums where he would get so angry and overwhelmed with emotion, that he couldn’t make himself stop. The only way to defuse the situation was to resist the urge to punish him and to gather him into a tight embrace and rock him until he regained control of his senses. When that happened Sarah would murmur, “I know, I know” as she comforted him because of course she did.

After Joe finally calmed down from his fall, Sarah tried to settle him into his booster seat at the kitchen table as he arched his back in protest. She finally gave up and let him sit on her lap periodically feeding him bites of her pizza while he reclined back against Sarah and eyed Beth with deepest suspicion. After a while he got bored and wandered off to play with his cars. Sarah helped herself to another piece of pizza and sighed. She and Beth then talked about Beth’s job, Beth’s upcoming marathon and Felix’s latest installation which featured his recent foray into portraiture. They both had agreed to sit for him and neither of them were particularly excited to be part of the installation. Sarah thought she looked like an angry nightmare in hers (she did) and Beth thought hers looked like a sad mugshot (also true). Felix had pretentiously said he only saw “truth” which did not alleviate either of their concerns. 

Later when Kira and Joe were finally in bed after numerous curtain calls, unnecessary drinks of water and calls for more stories, Sarah collapsed back on onto the couch, groaned and began rubbing her lower back. “Can you believe this shit-show? How am I gonna do this when this one comes? I’m already bloody outnumbered, aren’t I?” “I don’t know, Sarah, but what I can’t believe is you’re only seven months. Are sure you’re not having twins this time?” “Piss Off!” said Sarah as she threw a pillow at Beth. “That’s exactly what Felix said last week. Seriously though I’m a bloody whale this time. I’ve already gained 33 effing pounds!” said Sarah now rubbing her belly with both hands, “Only gained 20 with Kira and 25 with Joe. I have two more months to go and I already can’t fit into any of my clothes and I’m starving all the bloody time!” “Well, I think you’re doing great, Sarah” said Beth.

The thing is Sarah really was a good mom. Not a perfect mom, mind you--her kids ran wild, her house was a mess, some days she just couldn’t “deal” so they watched Netflix all day long and strictly speaking after the kids went to bed, when she wasn’t pregnant, she vastly exceeded the number of alcohol units the government recommended per week, but most days she cared for and played with them all day long with a patience and grace that had surprised everyone. Beth actually had a theory about this that she had recently shared with Felix. From observing her friends with young children, it seemed like it was the organized, ambitious ones like Ali, who woke up with an agenda of things she wanted to accomplish each day who struggled the most as new mothers. Ali had almost impossible standards for both herself and her children. She felt like a failure if her children didn’t stick to their sleep schedule or if the laundry didn’t get done or even if some of the pieces of the Candyland game went missing. Sarah had no standards and never had any agenda in her life other than having a good time and maybe waking up the next day. Since her only clear goal was keeping them alive, she was pretty content to let the kids do as they pleased so long as they were safe. A good day was when nobody needed stitches and she got a chance to nap. Sarah did most of the childcare while Cal did pretty much everything else, but they were happy with this division of labor. Cal had recently begun working on an idea for some new software that would track website traffic and had been taking meetings with investors in Silicon Valley. They never planned to marry since neither of them believed in that sort of thing.


	4. Chapter 4

   
After leaving the utter chaos of Sarah’s home, Beth was happy to return to her quiet apartment and was immediately greeted at the door by Hedwig, her glorious blue eyed, white Persian cat—who began incessantly meowing at her for food.  Beth flicked on the lights, gave Hedwig a friendly pat and obliged the cat with dinner—as if she had any choice.  Beth lived in a small one bedroom apartment a few blocks from the police station.  She thought of her sparsely appointed living space as “minimalist” or “uncluttered,” but others (like Felix for example) preferred to use words like “empty, stark or characterless.”   She basically had just a few pieces of neutral colored furniture and a TV.  Her kitchen was immaculate—the only things on the counter were a bowl of fruit and a coffee maker.  She didn’t have any knick-knacks or framed photographs and the only things she had on the wall were one of Felix’s paintings and a bamboo calendar she had gotten for free at Fung’s indicating 2018 was the “Year of the Dog.”  In fact, she hardly had any “stuff” at all with one obvious exception—a rather large bookshelf overflowing with books of all types—fiction, non-fiction, travel guides, art books, etc.  Cosima once told Beth that her apartment was so stark it freaked her out until she saw the cat and the bookshelf because at least that meant something mattered to her.  If you asked, Beth would tell you she just liked to keep things simple.  She also liked the idea that she could fit everything that matters to her in her car and just pack up and leave if she wanted to.  Beth was sure her shrink would have a field day with that one, but didn’t plan to bring it up.  After taking care of Hedwig’s dinner, Beth changed into her old police academy sweatshirt and pajama pants, took an Ambien from her veritable drugstore of a medicine cabinet (okay fine, there were two exceptions to her anti-stuff rule), poured herself a large glass of bourbon and turned on Netflix.  She was working her way through Season 2 of “Stranger Things.”  After about an hour, she fell asleep on the couch with Hedwig curled up on her chest.  
   
Beth woke the next morning feeling a bit groggy so she made a pot of strong coffee and took an Adderall to get going.  She had prescriptions for all this shit but in her more honest moments, she knew she was sort of playing with fire.   Beth then got dressed and went on a 7 mile run to clear her head.  After she got back, she ate a banana and a yogurt and then went to a yoga class, came back, showered and met Felix for a late lunch involving some trendy but elusive food truck he wanted to try that served a strange fusion of Vietnamese and German food.   “This is fantastic, isn’t it” gabbed Felix as he found the best light to snap a picture of his “lemongrass shrimp spaetzle” to post on Instagram.  “It’s definitely something” said Beth as she cautiously took a bite of the “sauerbraten pho” he had made her order.  Thank god she’d be going to Cosima and Delphine’s for dinner even if it would be a dinner party chock full of nerdy grad students.  As they ate Beth told Felix about her visit with Sarah the night before.  “Oh my god! Better you than me” said Felix, “Do you know that she can’t even leave the house anymore when Cal’s gone because Joe likes to run away from her in public places and she’s too pregnant to catch him?”  “Well, she’s not exactly small this time” smiled Beth. “Er no, she’s not. I think her stomach muscles may have waved the white flag” replied Felix. “Do you think they’re done?” mused Beth. “What? With having kids? Not a chance. When has Sarah ever known when to stop? And Cal’s even worse, he’d probably have ten kids if he could” said Felix.    
   
***  
   
After lunch with Felix, Beth ran a few errands, went home, changed and then drove the 45 minutes to Cosima and Delphine’s for the dinner party.  From the outside, their place looked like it belonged on a postcard—an old stone farmhouse complete with a bright red, well-kept barn. Had Delphine lived there alone, the inside would probably look like something out of Architectural Digest as well, however, since Cosima and the baby lived there too, it usually had a decidedly more “lived in” feel. Tonight, however, the place was immaculate and in stark contrast to Sarah’s appearance the other day, Delphine answered the door looking calm and casually stylish even though she too had an unruly toddler, was currently five months pregnant with their second child and was hosting an elaborate dinner party.  It would all be perfectly annoying if Beth didn’t know for a fact that Delphine had probably spent the whole day cramming Cosima’s (and Milo’s, but mostly Cosima’s) clutter and crap into the nearest closet or that Cosima had probably refused to help in any way in protest of the party or that Cosima’s office (which Delphine tended to lock during parties) was full of creepy dead things floating in specimen bottles and probably had pictures of dead people lying about.  
   
 “Elizabeth,” cried Delphine, “Come in! I’m so glad you are here!  Cosima is presently hiding in her office with Milo and avoiding our guests, but now that you are here we can put a stop to that, can’t we?”  
   
“I’ll try and thanks for having me!” laughed Beth.  
   
“As if you had any choice” smiled Delphine.  
   
“True. Seriously, though what are we having? It smells heavenly!”  
   
“Oh…I kept it simple this time. Roast leg of lamb with garlic, mint and rosemary, new potatoes, carrots and parsnips with thyme and asparagus and peas with lemon and shaved parmesan” she rattled off like it was nothing. Beth stifled a laugh as she followed Delphine inside.  Her idea of “something simple” was pizza or take-out from Fung’s.   
   
“Cosima! Beth is here.  You can come out now” called Delphine good-naturedly as they arrived at Cosima’s office door.  “Oh thank god!” cried Cosima as she emerged from her office carrying a sleepy-looking Milo who was slumped over her shoulder, “What the hell took you so long? One of her students just tried to talk to me about all the different species of grass used on the greens at golf courses! I had to fake a dirty diaper to get out of there!”  
   
Delphine rolled her eyes, “Well I am sorry it can’t all be rigor mortis tables and decomposition charts all the time can it?  Oh and you didn’t look so bored when Josephine was explaining her research on cannabis hybrids.”  
   
“Yeah, I know” grinned Cosima, “We’re totally gonna have to try that!”    
   
“Cosima, how the hell do you pass the random drug screens at the department?” asked Beth.  
   
“Well…” began Cosima with an embarrassed smile.  
   
“Who do you think processes those, huh?” interrupted Delphine.  
   
“Seriously?” said Beth shaking her head, “Sometimes I can’t even believe you’re in law enforcement.”  
   
“Yeah, me neither.  I’m just going to go put Milo to bed. I’ll be right back.” smiled Cosima.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s been quite a while since I updated this one but I do plan to finish it along with my other unfinished story, “Charleston.” Like Paul Dierden (who I promise will NOT be making an appearance in this one) I don’t like loose ends. :)

The dinner party was actually quite nice. The food was, of course, fantastic and Delphine’s students were, for the most part, an interesting group notwithstanding Cosima’s hyperbolic warnings.  Beth stayed behind after the other guests had left and helped Cosima clean-up.  After they were done, they found Delphine on their screened-in porch sitting on a squashy old couch with her feet up and mug of herbal tea.    
   
“You’re staying, right?” said Cosima with raised eyebrows as she waggled a wine bottle in Beth’s direction and sat down on the couch, “Delphine already made up the guest bedroom.”   
   
“Ooh yes, please stay. She’s been desperate for someone to sit up with her for late night conversation and cocktails.  I’ve been too tired lately.” said Delphine as she ran her hand over her stomach.   
   
“Seriously, last night she went to bed at like 8:30pm and believe me I get it, but when I agreed to move to the country it was SPECIFICALLY for late night conversations under the stars on this porch.”  
   
“Really,” said Delphine with an exaggerated eye roll, “I thought you did it for me, my career and as you said ‘so our children can be as free-range as the chickens,’ but sure, whatever, it was mostly for Cosima’s late night contemplations.”  
   
“Well sure, all that too,” smiled Cosima as she sidled up and pressed an ear up against Dephine’s stomach, “stranger’s really moving around tonight, huh?”  
   
“Hmm…yes” sighed Delphine “Now that I’ve sat down.”  
   
Cosima sat up and continued, “Anyway, I really do miss being able to stay up all night when the mood strikes, but it’s just not worth it anymore since Milo.”  
   
“Well, I don’t have kids and I don’t usually make it to midnight, but yeah alright, I’ll stay.  Probably shouldn’t drive anyway” smiled Beth.  
   
“Excellent” smiled Cosima as she re-filled Beth’s wine glass with an evil grin.  
   
Delphine made it another hour before bidding them adieu. On her way out, she kissed Cosima goodnight and said, “Don’t stay up too late.  Remember, it’s your turn to get up with Milo tomorrow.”  
   
“Oh shit! That’s right” grimaced Cosima, “That kid’s like a rooster. I’ll be up in a bit.”  
   
“Okay. Good night you two” said Delphine.  Cosima watched her go with a smile.  When she looked back over at Beth she saw that Beth was also grinning at her.  
   
“What?” asked Cosima.  
   
“You know, most people make this look hard, but you two make it look easy.”  
   
“What do you mean?” asked Cosima with a quizzical look.  
   
“Marriage kids, all of it...” Beth trailed off.  
   
“Well, thanks I guess” Cosima snorted, “but honestly, it’s not easy at all.  Milo woke us up every night last week and it took us four days to figure out he had an ear infection--mothers of the year over here.  Then we fought about whether to put him on antibiotics. She got mad that I kept bringing him into our bed.  I thought we were gonna kill each other.  And that was BEFORE Delphine totally went to the dark side planning this party.  She spent the whole day practically flying around on a goddamned broomstick and acting all put upon because she had to do EVERYTHING like the party was my idea or something.”  
   
“I knew it! You didn’t help at all, did you?” smiled Beth.  
   
“Nope” grinned Cosima, “Unless you count watching Milo all afternoon while she ran around like a maniac.  Of course, as Delphine is fond of saying, ‘you can’t babysit your own child.’  Anyway, what got you thinking about kids and marriage and all that?”  
   
“I don’t know.  It’s just lately….It’s like almost everyone is partnered up with kids but most of them seem sort of miserable or at least completely overwhelmed, but you guys seem to have a handle on it. Like, take my crazy friend Alison from high school for example…”  
   
“Hang on” interjected Cosima, “The one who’s like a semi-reformed delinquent or the super uptight suburban one?” interjected Cosima.  
   
“The uptight suburban one.  Sarah’s the delinquent” Beth smiled and then continued, “Anyway, Ali was valedictorian of our high school class, captain of everything and I always thought she was destined to rule the world. But then she married this guy, Donny, she met freshman year of college. They have these two darling kids. She’s a stay-at-home mom—totally her choice--he’s in pharmaceutical sales and they live two blocks away from the house she grew up in in this big shiny suburban house.”  
   
“Gee that does sound horrible” said Cosima sarcastically.  
   
 “Cosima…”  
   
“Sorry, go on.”  
   
“I mean he’s nice enough I guess, but they’re not….equals if you know what I mean. She’s like twenty times smarter than him and just bosses him around and he lets her because it’s easier than fighting with her.  He’s constantly traveling for work, her life is one big spreadsheet of kids’ activities and committee meetings--oh and I’m pretty sure they’re both having affairs.  It’s like she became her mother—who for the record is just horrible.”  
   
“And? What’s your point? I mean that doesn’t sound fun to me, but it’s like her choice, right?” said Cosima.  
   
“I know, it’s just every time I see her it’s just so depressing. She could have been so much more…”  
   
“Maybe, but on the other hand, maybe she’s doing exactly what she wants, except it’s just nothing you’d want.”

“I guess…I mean I like kids, but I’ve never wanted them or to get married the way other people do. You know?” she trailed off.    
   
“Yeah, I know. I wasn’t sure I wanted kids either and now I can’t imagine life without Milo, but even so, we still went round and round about whether it would be okay if he were an ‘only.’ I mean we turned out okay, amiright?” said Cosima gesturing a toast with her wine glass.  
   
“If you say so” smirked Beth toasting back.  
   
“Anyway, obviously Delphine won that one” grinned Cosima and then she paused, “Have you even dated anyone since Paul? Which was what? Like two years ago?”  
   
“Ughh, no…Don’t remind me” groaned Beth.  
   
“Ever get lonely?” asked Cosima in a careful tone.  
   
Beth laughed, “Honestly, not usually.”  
   
“Seriously? You kind of live like a hermit.”  
   
“I just like my own space.  Anyway sometimes I think I’m just not wired like other people. Like I don’t have the bandwidth for relationships or something.”  
   
“Okay, now don’t get mad and I don’t mean to psychoanalyze you, but I can’t help but think some of this lone ranger stuff has to do with your mom and losing your dad the way you did. Maybe you should, you know, like talk to somebody about it.  Like a professional.”  
   
“Cosima,” Beth leveled her gaze, “I’ve been seeing a shrink since I was seventeen and every single one of them would tell you I have issues with trust and intimacy. My dad used to smack me around and then tell me he loved me for Christ’s sake.”  
   
“I know” sighed Cosima, “It’s just if you want to be alone, then fine, but sometimes…now don’t get mad…it seems like…you’re hiding out.”  
   
“Maybe.”  
   
“Maybe you should get back in the game,” grinned Cosima. “You know Raj in IT totally has a thing for you.”    
   
“Cosima, he’s like 12.”  
   
“Fine.  Okay, let me think… Scotty would go out with you in a heartbeat!”  
   
“Cosima, just stop.”  
   
“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m just saying that other than Felix and your delinquent friend Sarah, you don’t have any friends outside of work do you?”  
   
“Not really” exhaled Beth.  
   
“Well then, like always, it comes back to Art.  I mean come on!  You two get each other and he's divorced now.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why?”

“Because....Well, Art doesn’t think of me that way and he shouldn’t since we’re partners. Should we open another bottle?” rambled Beth.  
   
“Ooh…interesting non-denial, denial there” smiled Cosima.  
   
***  
By the time Beth got back to her apartment the next day, she had just enough time to take a quick shower before going to work.  Afterwards, she stopped by Felix’s apartment to return a book she’d borrowed from him.  When she arrived, she found him supervising Kira and Joe at painting while Sarah was at a doctor appointment.  
   
“I take it Cal’s still out of town.”  
   
“Yep, til Thursday.”  
   
Kira was working carefully with a brush on a rainbow with a smiling sunshine in the background.  Joe on the other hand was manically smearing brown paint in no discernable pattern.  
   
“Uncle Felix,” chirped Kira, “Can I have some purple?”  
   
“Of course you can, darling. Joseph, would you like another color?”  
   
“Bwack” he scowled.  
   
“Of course, you do” chuckled Felix as he tossled Joe’s hair.   
   
Sarah turned up a few minutes later looking exhausted (which was typical) and scared (which was not).  Beth noted she was wearing the same pajama pants and tank top as the other day.     
   
“What’s wrong? What’d the doctor say?” asked Felix.  
   
“That I’m in pre-term labor and my blood pressure’s way too high so from now on I’m on bed rest” drawled Sarah as she sat down heavily on the couch.  
   
“Well, that’s not so different than your normal routine, is it?” smirked Felix.  
   
“Piss off Felix,” said Sarah tiredly.  
   
“Mom! Language” said Kira.  
   
“Sorry monkey” said Sarah tiredly, “You two have fun with Uncle Felix?”  
   
“Yes, mommy. Except Joe had to go to time out.” said Kira.  
   
“Nobody likes a tattle-tale, Kira” said Felix.  
   
“But he did!” she protested.  
   
Just then Joe walked over to Kira’s painting and added a big black and brown handprint right in the middle of it.  Kira screamed and pushed him away. Then before Felix could intervene, Joe lunged forward and bit Kira on the arm as he somehow simultaneously managed to rip her painting in half.  Felix picked up Joe and carried him off screaming towards the washroom while Sarah began trying to settle a sobbing Kira down.     
   
“It’s alright, Kira.  You’re fine. We can fix it.” shushed Sarah.  
   
“I hate him! He ruins everything!” Kira shouted.  
   
Beth stepped forward, crouched down with Kira and wiped a tear from her cheek, “Maybe we can tape it?” she offered.  
   
“Thanks” mouthed Sarah.  
   
Just then a loud crash could be heard from the bathroom. “Sarah!” called Felix in a falsely cheerful voice, “Can you come in here? Your evil spawn is breaking things?”  
   
“Don’t call him that!” snapped Sarah as she waddled over.

“Sorry...I just meant...” stammered Felix.

“I got it from here” said Sarah in a clipped tone. 

“Touched a bit of a nerve there, didn’t I?” said Felix in a stage whisper to Beth when he returned from the bathroom.  
   
***  
A week later Sarah had an emergency c-section to deliver her baby at 33 weeks. When he came out he was having a hard time breathing so he was immediately taken to the NICU where they were able to stabilize him. Cal and Sarah named him Peter after Cal’s father (and—Sarah kept this bit to herself—Pete Townshend from The Who) Cal went with him while they stitched Sarah up. A few hours later they wheeled Sarah into the NICU so she could meet him. It’s good that they did because six hours after that he stopped breathing again and couldn’t be revived.   
   
   
          


End file.
